Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
