I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
