if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize