Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
