I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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