is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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