Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
