ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
