Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
