I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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