Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
