I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
