Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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