i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize