Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
