I can text with my tongue
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize