Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
