The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
