ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
