I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
