I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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