can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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