I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
