If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
