look no pants
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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