So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
