was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
worst night to have a conscience
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize