I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
