i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
