talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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