but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
