I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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