and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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