there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
