I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No subtext here. People are naked.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
