It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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