the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
