i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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