Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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