Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
