I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
