I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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