He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
