Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
