..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
