the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
do herpes really smell.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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