i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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