I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
