This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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