she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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