I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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