I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
