Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
