Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
