Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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