3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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