4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
