help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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