I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My hand turned me down
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
