i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So apparently I’m into choking now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
