epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize