my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
