Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
