dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
