You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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