fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
