why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
