This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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