Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
